Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Many Faces of Twitter

After admittedly getting caught up in the addiction that is Twitter, I've begun to start noticing decisive personality types among other users. My own Tweeting habits range wildly: from snarky observational humor, to plugging my blog, to casual conversations regarding travel, sports, or politics. I'm not saying I've written the book on the perfect use of the social network, but I would like to think the way I use it isn't too obnoxious to all those following me. I'm not selling anything, so I guess all I have to market are my thoughts, opinions and ideas. Much like real life, I suppose. Which is what I've always felt social networks were, only over a computer, rather than face to face.

Some people, however, choose to use it differently. This is for them.
-The Self-Promoter: How do you know this person has a blog? They will tell you. No less than 100 times a day. Sure, they're obviously good with words, but the only time they use them on Twitter is to tell us that they've written something new about their amazing life as a single, female traveling the world. Yes, we get it. You have a great life and for that we're all jealous. But truth be told, people are only looking at your blog because of all the pictures you include of you and your friends wearing bikinis.
(I've been ridiculed for using Twitter to plug this blog. I try to keep my self promotions down to 3 or 4 times a day, preferably 6 hours apart. And only on the days that I write something new. I think that's fair, knowing that the site's audience changes drastically throughout the day.)

-The Vegan: This person is as obnoxious online as they are in person. Much like their diet, their Tweets have no substance aside from pretentiously asking around for new and exciting vegan recipes. Chances are good this person will also let you know that they don't own a TV, or that they live in Canada.

-The Non-Published Self-Promoter: This person doesn't have anything interesting to promote other than the fact that they just ate lunch at Sonic. They make great use of FourSquare to let everyone in the world, who couldn't possibly care less, know exactly where they are and what they are doing at all times. The most popular possessor of this personality trait is the thin female who likes to eat. She will let you know every time she opens that pint of ice cream. In your face, everyone that doesn't care! Another is the bar hopper. (I'll admit, I've been known to drunk FourSquare on a night on the town and regret it deeply the following morning.)

-The Social Media King/Queen: These could be some of the most obnoxious people on the internet. These are people who may have taken a couple marketing classes at the local community college and now think they hold all of the answers and know-how to properly market yourself, your business and your products using new media. Truth be told, 14 year olds are far more advanced in using the internet to get information out. As for Twitter use, it's hard to tell if these people are real humans with individual personalities, or if they're just computer programmed robots, randomly sending out articles on the latest social media marketing techniques. You want to know a secret? No matter what you're selling, marketing works best when you create personal relationships. Try that, robots.

-The King of Blogs: I'm writing this specific blog post because of this guy. I so wish I could remember his Twitter handle. This guy writes and Tweets about his blogs on how to properly write a blog, since, naturally, he holds all of the knowledge on how to do so. I want so badly to find him so I can congratulate him on being the most pretentious asshole in cyberspace. He once said that he doesn't respect writers who use free blogging sites (like this one). Words are words, douchebag. How are yours any better than mine since you chose to spend $8 a month to have them posted. He also doesn't think blogs should consists of lists. This one's for you, prick.

-The Chronic Retweeter: I don't even know why this person spent the time creating and profile or adding a picture, as they have no individuality whatsoever. The only time you see them pop up in your feed is when they copy and send something that they, for whatever reason, found worthy of seeing again. Let it be known, I am a fan of the retweet when necessary. Just don't let it become who you are and the only thing you're known for. Be yourself. But not if you're the Chronic Retweeter.

-The Promoter of Other Peoples' Stuff: This person scours the internet in search of articles they like that they feel other people should like equally as much. Again, no individual personality of their own.

-The Quoter: This person is all over Facebook too. Rather than using their own words to describe their thoughts and feelings, they use other peoples. Usually dead, famous people. I dig a good quote every now and then, I even use them from time to time. But, again, be your own person.

-The Compliment Seeker: I dated a girl like this once. When you fish for compliments, I'm not going to give you any. We didn't last very long.

-The Chronic Thanker: It's always good to be polite. Especially when using Twitter to build personal relationships to help push your brand. (Which I feel is what it's best used for) But when all we see on our feeds is you thanking your different followers for things we never saw, it just makes us wonder what we missed.

-The "New" Poster: There are some radio stations out there who still promote themselves as the "New Buzz 105" years after the format change. There are a number of bloggers who do the same. Not only have they plugged the same story multiple times throughout the day, but for days on end, they're still calling it a "new post." Eventually, it has to stop being new. Plug your work, that's cool. But do it honestly. After a day or so, it just isn't new anymore.

I'm sure I've missed some. These are mainly the ones I see on a daily bases. Is this you? If so, defend yourself in the comments section below. And if you get annoyed by a Tweeter type that I missed, feel free to add it.


  1. I think you pretty much covered it... :)

  2. What about the evangelical tweeters? where does that fit? Could be part Quoter, part Promoter of Other people's Stuff...

  3. I believe i'm at least 7 of the above - oops. But I mean, at least I know i'm shameless.